Fear of another height
This is our second installment of Moving Forward and we haven’t been bumped out so we’re feeling pretty confident about our journalistic abilities now. In fact, we feel so strong at this writing thing that we’re going to start throwing out big words just to be a little more impressive. How’s this for one? Atychiphobia. Atychiphobia is a fear of failure which stops the sufferer from attempting to try things which could possibly help them progressing in life, or in our case…moving forward. Symptoms include a reluctance to try something new or begin a project which the sufferer might find challenging, but it could manifest itself in actions of self-sabotage such as procrastination or a failure to complete goals. People who have atychiphobia commonly also suffer from low self-esteem or self-confidence. They are not necessarily lazy, but they usually only do things which they know they can complete perfectly and successfully.
Truth is, everyone has experienced a failure at some point. The two of us have experienced more than a few setbacks in our lives and we could easily become victims of atychiphobia. After all, previous marriage attempts don’t exactly encourage someone to go run out and take the plunge again, and we’re going to take our relationship to the officially “together forever” stage in a little over a week! We’re trying to have what Stanford University professor Carol Dweck calls “a growth mindset.” We’re not done aging so we’re not done failing. We know that. The important thing is to also be able to say that we’re not done learning from our mistakes while we’re on the path to making our lives better.
There is a Japanese proverb that says Nana korobi ya oki which literally translates to “seven falls, eight getting up” or fall down seven times, get up eight times. We’re not planning on breaking up and definitely don’t want to see another divorce in our future. We’re moving forward though and wanting to do that together.
We do our best in every area of our lives, such as running our businesses, teaching our classes, growing our relationship with each other; even trying to parent without a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset makes one think that there is no room for improvement or success no matter how hard a person tries. A fixed mindset can stop one from taking a risk and therefore can seriously hinder an individual’s potential for growth.
What kind of mindset do you have? We created sort of catchphrase at our martial art and fitness studio, “Be Better Than Best.” Being “the best” at something is a figment of the imagination. Even the fastest runner in the world has been measured only by the people who have competed against them. There is no way of truly knowing who the best actually is. What’s your best? The truth is, you have no idea unless you try to find out. We need to push our limits and attempt to discover our potential. That’s why we’re going to try one more time to have a great marriage, but more importantly to you, why we have begun this column. We can’t move forward if we’re afraid to take a step…or even get up one more time.
For those of you who would like to take the risk of falling out of your lives, but still want to get some walking in as the weather is getting a bit messier out there, the Township of Uxbridge has created an indoor walking group. They meet at Uxbridge Secondary School on Mondays and Wednesday nights from 6 – 8 p.m. and you can pay either $35 for the season or $4 per session by contacting Uxpool at (905) 852-7831.
Maybe some of you are into a little action on some ice. The Uxbridge Curling Club is hosting a “Cocktails and Curling” event on Sat., Nov. 24 from 7 – 11:30 p.m. No experience is necessary as members will be on hand and willing to show you the ropes. Even equipment will be provided by the club, so all you need to bring is clean, flat soled shoes. Your first cocktail and snacks are included in the $25 ticket price. Hopefully, nobody will need to reflect back on that fall down seven times, get up eight times proverb we mentioned!
Okay, shameless plug time for the other stuff we’re into. This may have nothing to do with our intended theme of health and wellness, but it does have to do with us and what we’re up to.
Bella Nove will be performing at the Uxbridge Train Station as part of the Tour of Homes this coming Saturday, Nov.10 from 12:30 – 1:30 p.m. They will then be heading across the tracks to the Second Wedge Brewery at 1:45 p.m. to perform there. Again, hoping nobody will be needing to reflect on that falling down, getting up thing while at the brewery either!
Until next time, be brave, conquer your doubts, be stronger than your excuses, and keep moving forward.