A dark Cloud over my head
Hi. My name is Lisha, and I’m a Techno Twit.
Actually, no, I take that back. I am not a Techno Twit. I’m not a Techno Whiz, but I’m not a Techno Twit, either. I can negotiate my way around a computer rather nicely, I think. I haven’t erased one by accident yet. I can logically think my way through “now where did that save to?”type problems, and more often than not, I just have to pause and work through a tech problem by putting myself in the headspace of an IT developer and go where I think they would go. I can do the layout for an entire newspaper, for heaven’s sake! I can’t be that dumb!
So tell me. Why, in the name of all that is battery-operated, can I not operate a stinkin’ cell phone?
Allow me to rant. A couple of weeks ago I managed to procure a brand new iPhone XR. Not the latest, but a few versions beyond the iPhone 6S that I had been quite happily using for the past three or four years. I got it in the mail on Monday, and I knew that I wouldn’t have the time I needed to devote to setting it up right away, so I tucked it under my desk. I had work, had to do the paper, had to work on the website, etc., etc., and I just didn’t want to get into it. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t excited about opening up the box, I was! Bright red, shiny new toy – that little box under my desk was enticing, giving me something to look forward to.
I brought it home, still unopened (it was a very busy week), and set aside some time on Saturday afternoon to set it up and make it my own. My 13-year old was just as excited as I was to do the transfer of information because she was to get my “old” phone, the 6S, so she was on stand-by, just in case I ran into any roadblocks.
Road blocks – bloody hell. The walls I hit were bigger than the walls the president of the United States wants to build.
Suffice to say that the whole process was/is anything but easy, for me, anyway.
“Just place your old iPhone next to your new iPhone and the two phones will mind-meld,” said Siri in a soft, dreamy voice. “All your data from your old phone will magically migrate across the ether and find its way into your new phone and know exactly where to go, what to do, and how to do it. All you have to do is sit back, wait just a few little minutes, and in no time at all your new iPhone XR will have everything you ever needed to function in today’s society at your fingertips, ready to go.”
Ok, maybe those aren’t the exact words that Siri used, but the instructions certainly made it seem that way. It all seemed a little too easy, but I did as Siri-cum-Hal asked and placed the two phones side by side on my coffee table. My excitement over exploring my new phone was growing by the second, and I imagined getting on with my afternoon in just a few minutes.
Fast-forward to several hours later…
I don’t think I can describe what happened, because I don’t really know. All I know is that all my apps disappeared. My contacts app was briefly gone. My email could receive messages, but it couldn’t send them. And something called “the Cloud” got involved. Personally, I think it’s “the Cloud” that caused all the problems. That’s right, Techno Whizzes, put all our information out there in a giant compute somewhere and give us really strange, nonsensical instructions on how to access it and apply it, and watch us tear our hair out as we try to find our way around. Very clever. Are you amused?
I was determined to fix what I could myself, and only resorted to internet searches and one online chat when absolutely necessary. I finally got everything in almost working order (at this very moment I still can’t send emails, and can at least make a phone call. My text messaging is messed up (“the Cloud’s” fault) and I don’t have all my apps back. Oh, and I lost 83 hints and my status of “Shark” on my WordBrain game – I’m back down to 26 hints and I have to redo all the levels. I’m just a Turtle at the moment.
On Monday, I set my 6S up to be brand new for my daughter. Cleaned it up, put it in the original box – all that was missing was the plastic wrap. She got in from work at 6:30 p.m. and noticed it there. I went out for the evening, and was home by 9. She was sitting in bed happily playing with her new-to-her phone, giddy that everything she had on her old phone was there, and lots of new things besides. It had taken her less than three hours.
My middle daughter is going to take a peek at my email, help get it back on track. Then I’m going to send an email to “the Cloud” and tell it to give me back my apps, my hints, and my Shark status. I don’t need a Cloud like that hanging over my head, thank you very much.